post-it creativity

So, this month has been crazy... but mostly good. Husband has been working a LOT so I've barely been able to stay afloat and with cards and presents and gingerbread houses and snowflakes (real and paper) and school...we've had some fun--(that's what I'm gonna call it.) Anyway, yesterday the kids were quite creative, so I took a picture. Both are chickens...see if you can tell why.

Let me sum up

We are coming to the end of very eventful year, not just at my house but in the world at large.

All I can think about is all the things I should be worried about, but am not.

I think I've actually grown this year or something.

I'm not worried about whether I'll get all my Christmas shopping done or not... Christmas will come anyway and all the material stuff seems so unimportant.

I could be worried about the economy and all the stuff people are going through... but I'm not. We'll all get through it and we might just learn what really matters most is not the stuff we may sacrifice but the people.

There are so many other things I will not list to worry about. But...

I'm so grateful for my enchanted life, even so grateful for the really hard things my family has been going through this year. We always seem to have major changes occur right after we have another baby. Always big adjustments, huge joys, huge stress and mind set changes. I'm glad I'm getting older, I'm glad to be facing my weaknesses, I'm glad Heavenly Father lets me see new perspectives and calms those seas in our lives.

I feel blessed to know and love such good people, to have grown up in such a great home with tremendous educational opportunities. The friends I keep make me and my life great, and I feel so grateful they regard me enough to be my friends.

I know Thanksgiving is this week, but even if it wasn't I'd still just feel grateful.

I wouldn't change a thing... 

and here is us all stepping up to the plate and showing how good we can be, even in difficult times. We can do it.

Election Day

There is something about an election that makes me feel all patriotic. So many emotions, who will win? How close will it be? Anger over the government and yet excitement and pride for those whom I feel do a good job. I enjoy taking my kids to see me vote and talking about how lucky we are and how many died for this freedom.

New subject... Granty is growing, sitting, almost crawling. Ackk.. I thought I had more time.

Eli and Wyatt have been playing house. Eli is the dad, Wyatt is the boy.

Anyway, here are some pics.. halloween too.

one of the longest weeks of my life

So I know you think I've fallen off the face of the earth, and I don't know how to say everything there is to say, so I'll sum up.

7 trips to the doctor.- do the math: 2 for Grant, 1 for Eli, 4 for Wyatt

$105 worth of co-pays

3 bottles of ibuprofen

1 five month old with croup= no sleep for mom

1 ear infection for Eli- bubble-gum medicine - he likey.

104 degree fever for Wyatt with no understood cause

SO... then we get blood tests, antibiotics in shot form, more blood tests, wondering if he had appendicitis, but right before we head to the hospital we get an x-ray and find out it is....Pneumonia! (never even a cough). so, more antibiotics...

Now we are recovering and figuring out what needs to be done.. and to think Jason even had a birthday last week. Happy 29 babe! 

My fun

I've been taking an online class at big picture scrapbooking. I'm so excited about the results. My favorite scrapbooker of all time is teaching the class- Cathy Zielske. She is totally hilarious and very simple about her layouts. The class is about design. Anyhoo... here are the layouts so far.

Finding my inner chi

Ahhh... I really just don't know where to begin. My life has been super busy, but I can't honestly say with what. I can think of 5 times in the last week where I have done something stupid, let someone down, forgot something, or been late. And I can't let go of it. Its not like I believe I'm perfect, I just expect to be able to run my life, and now I'm worried I may never have my sanity back. So I'm spending the afternoon remembering what is important and moving on from disappointments. The best way I've found to do this is to write down some of my blessings. So here it goes...(not in order of importance).

Showers on most days, a body that works, a Heavenly Father who listens and answers my prayers, a great husband, great kids, very supportive parents, my friends, good-for-me food, a car that runs and is cute, my iMac, my printer, my scanner, my camera, my cell phone, my general intelligence, this beautiful world...

I'll just leave it at that for now.

(the above picture was taken on the Oregon coast by my step-father, in slide form, probably circa 1980ish.)

Back to school

Wyatt started Challenger this week, this year it was Eli who was sad to be at home. After we dropped Wyatt off he stated, "I'm gonna miss him, Mom." Other than that they've been tired and using "thems fightin' words." As per tradition, I did make them the first day of school cake, which I didn't even have a piece of. 

Eli and Grant both got shots this week. Eli's bled pretty bad and hurt for quite awhile, so he claimed he needed to be carried everywhere--unless a friend came to play and then he was fine.

Eli had his kindergarten assessment, the teacher said he did well, and he came home knowing a new poem.

I have cut white sugar, white flour and cow products out of my diet, and Grant and I are feeling pretty good. I've learned goat milk is pretty good, though a little expensive.

Jason and I are hoping for more good things on the horizon this week. Spirits are up and things are moving along.

life themes

Sometimes I find that a recurring theme sticks out in my life and others' around me.  Lately its been about the difference between saying and doing things and success. So many people believe life just happens to them and they forget just how powerful their choices are. Have you met people that will forever say I'll start working out tomorrow, or I'll be friendly tomorrow, or I'll  follow through later? Those of us, me, too, at times, find out that with a little bit of planning and doing, accomplishing things makes us feel alive.

Of course, then the many choices we have can be an entirely different problem. When there are too many choices some people become petrified to make the "wrong" choice-- maybe there aren't really so many wrong choices. I think if one takes that step, in some direction, it is better than never making a choice at all, because after you wait too long, some choices just happen, and then you have to take responsibility for your lack of choice. Better to do something you at least thought over. I'm really just talking about our little daily choices, but aren't those the choices that make us who we are? Even the big things start as little things.

So, I'm committing myself to find my power, be more conscious, and follow through, with those things I really want to do in my life right now. Feel free to join me.

Summer is flying by

Intense Eli.
I totally love the colors in this picture. This kid just melts my heart. He is attached to me at the hip, but its a small price to pay. Look at that face.

Front Page News

On Saturday we went to the horse parade, an annual tradition for our family ever since Eli fell in love with horses. The boys enjoyed the fact that it was in the morning this year, which definitely made it cooler. Since everyone loves babies and dogs, they say, Grant made his way onto the front page of the Utah section of the Tribune yesterday.

the "right" side of the bars

Do these boys look innocent to you?

Livin la vida loca

Well, I know I haven't posted for awhile. Life has been hectic. We are making the most of the summer. I think about every other night we go swimming. We have been visiting Jason's cousin in the hospital. He is doing fabulously well and may come home next week.
Today we went swimming with my friend Lisa, her boys and sisters, at Alta Canyon, because Cottonwood Heights was closed. The boys are getting so tan and are probably going to sprout fins soon. Grant has been sleeping anywhere from 7-9 hours straight at night and I am super grateful. We've been getting some cute smiles out of him lately, and others believe he knows my voice, because he cries as soon as I leave the room.
Last night we ate fish Eli and Wyatt caught at Smith and Moorehouse camping with my Dad last week. So proud of my little fisher-boys. They even help gut it. Definitely something I don't want to do.
I am totally excited for the 4th. Jason's brother is in town, so we'll do family stuff. I'll let you know how the annual rocket launch goes.

This past weekend

... was a doosey. We decided to bless Grant at home so we spent most the weekend cleaning up and making dessert. It turned out very nice, my Grandpa (who Grant is named after) was able to bless him. They are sure cute together.
On the other hand, Jason's cousin, Preston, was in a very bad car accident. We are praying that he'll recover properly, right now he can't move his left side. He has four kids. We are keeping him in our prayers, and welcome more. We visited him tonight. Its so surreal to see someone go from normal to so fragile. We miss his "normal" already.

days left

Preschool is almost over for Eli-- he can hardly stand having to go. I can't imagine what everyday of kindergarten is going to be like. If 9 hours a week is too much, he is in for a very rude awakening.
Grant is getting all chubby. I love it.
We had our 8th wedding anniversary Saturday. We decided to do what we wanted instead of what we thought was an acceptable anniversary date. I think it was our best ever. We went hiking up Millcreek. My mom watched the baby and Jason's mom watched the older 2 boys. It worked out perfectly. On the way up the mountain it felt like we were just us-- not parents, not responsible adults, just two people having a normal conversation and enjoying life. We needed to de-stress.

Three boys

I got to go to the gym today, and man did it feel good. I miss that rush. Wyatt is out of school so I am fighting to get things done despite the loss of schedule. Grant is growing-- I think he is close to 11 lbs now. Yesterday was his 1 month birthday. Its always hard after a holiday to have Jason go back to work. I miss him more than if it was a regular weekend. The weather was so crappy that we couldn't play/work outside, so we kind of feel like it wasn't really Memorial day. It was a good weekend for relaxing though. (Grant's feet show what we did.)

I can do this... I think.

I took all of my kids to Costco today and I even got Eli to school on time. I think I deserve a medal.
Grant is an interesting kid. He loves to try and hold his head up, so its almost impossible to hold him with one arm and burp him properly. When he is awake he thinks he should get all the attention. He also goes through more diapers than any other kid I know. I'm pretty sure its his inside joke to constantly pee or poo on us. Usually both in one session. Ahh... the joys of newborns. You love how small they are, but can't wait for them to grow a little bigger. Anyway, here is a pic.

baby

I had him on Saturday. Life has been painful and busy since then. I feel like I cannot catch my breath, or enough sleep. He is sweet though, and we named him Grant.

Today is a big day.

I am going to be induced in hours, and of course I can't sleep. I have finally been having contractions every 7 minutes on the dot, but I still could technically sleep through them, so I have been waiting since 9 p.m. last night for them to get harder or closer together. But now I can't sleep. I've been up since 2:30... its now 4. At 6 I should get a call from the hospital. I am hungry but afraid to eat. So I was tagged to do some trivia thing, but it looks like I did the wrong one. I also really don't know a lot of other bloggers personally, so I can't pass it on, but here is what I spent the wee hours of the morning of my 3rd born doing.
1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT? House, Dad lives with us.
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? I can’t concentrate on a book right now, so I read magazines.

3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Blue gel

4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Monopoly.
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? Simple Scrapbooks

6a. FAVORITE SMELLS? Lilacs, cookies, campfires, rain, fresh cut grass

6b. LEAST FAVORITE SMELLS? Dog farts, burned dinner (doesn’t happen often.)

7. FAVORITE SOUNDS? My kids laughing or singing.

8. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD. Regretting doing something you should have known better. Or hearing someone has died.
9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING. (for the last morning) Am I still pregnant?
10. FAVORITE COLOR? Today, green.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? Depends on how far away it is and how fast I can run to it.
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? I will be naming a baby today, and I plan on looking at him first, but we think Grant.

13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? Trying to be better everyday and family.

14. FAVORITE FOODS. Cookies, spinach, whole grain bread, fresh fruit.

15. VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE? 
Vanilla
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? No, I don’t want to get pulled over.
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? Yes, they’re called my husband and 3 boys. (its really crowded)

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? Ususally cool, sometimes scary.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? Subaru. I could push start it by myself.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? Jesus, or Jason’s Grandma Victoria.
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINKS? Pina coloda.

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? Leo, but someone told me I act more like a Cancer.

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? Of course, that’s where the vitamins are.

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?

25. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR? Blonde
26. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? I am happy to say I still am.
27. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? Usually half full.
28. FAVORITE MOVIES? You’ve got mail, Princess Bride, X-men, Transformers, Spiderman, Enchanted.
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? Yup. Proud of it, too.
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? Guitar my husband can’t play, physical therapy tube for your back.
31. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3 or 7.

32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? Hockey or skating or gymnastics.
33. WHAT CD DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR STEREO RIGHT NOW? 
Beehive Band, old Mormon folk music.
34. FAVORITE TV SHOW? Office, ER, 2 ½ men.
35. EARLIEST MEMORY? Parents fighting. (It helps me not fight in front of mine.)
36. FAVORITE TEAM?!
I really don’t know.

S.O.S.

Having contractions, but the aren't getting any closer together and sometimes they are gone altogether. Trying to figure out a better escape plan.

Wishin' hopin' thinkin' prayin'

I am writing this on Karen's behalf because she is desperately hoping to have a child today. (So far, only an intense anger has been born.) I know things are getting close, as Karen is shifting from her normal use of contractions (don't, won't, can't shouldn't), to tightening her belly muscles in an effort to evict her third son from his cozy belly condo. Since most of you probably don't remember when your own mother evicted you (and assuming you're not reading this in utero), let me tell you what it seems to be like:getting out of a nice hot tub to roll in the snow.

My parents say that when I was born, I actually came out backward, spread eagle, with full claws extended in a futile attempt to stay lodged in my shrinking serenity. However, now that I am in the position of staring down the barrel of a third son, I think I am going to have to fault them for failing to mention the serenity (and sanity) that the parents give up. Seriously, they could have warned me about this. The only thing Dad told me when we got pregnant was 'you know they discovered what causes that.' (-Advice that would have been very helpful if were weren't trying and my wife was a light bulb.)

It is such a fitting irony that parents must suffer to enjoy the life of a child. With each of our first two sons, I can distinctly recall having inevitable thought (that probably comes to every parent) about 3:12 AM three weeks after birth- can't we put him back? But for all of the pain and hardship you go through, that genetic switch just flips in your head and the second he's born you just would not think twice about taking a bullet for that 7 pounds of screaming, eating, pooping, and (God-willing) sleeping baby boy.

Dead zone

So someone told me the other day that they've heard the last few weeks of pregnancy referred to as the "dead zone." Meaning, you don't want to make any plans or be anywhere in case you go into labor, so you're just waiting, mostly miserably for the day. I find it interesting, that for the most part, the only things we don't plan in life are birth and death. Don't we just love knowing/scheduling our lives? I like the convenience, and maybe the security of knowing where the people I'm going to need will be. So not knowing makes me slightly frustrated. Plus the cherry on the top is feeling like a whale with an alien punching you inside, and wanting it OUT! But, as Jason reminds me,I will be asking in the weeks ahead to just put it back. I tried to have some pictures taken, but it seems I look fat in my face now, so there was only one picture I really liked.
Anyway, I'm getting everything ready. Meals planned for next 10 days, check. Clothes washed, floors cleaned, check, check. Now I just need to get the crib up and the bags packed. Jason's even going out of town for a few days. Better wait a week or so.

Today I officially became a scrapbooking groupie

I took my kids down to Gateway Children's Museum with my sister-in-law today. As I was watching my kids play in the helicopter I started talking to some women next to me. One of them looked familiar, and then I placed her. I knew her name. All because I have a serious addiction to scrapbooking and the magazine this wonderful woman works for. I think I have been reading Simple Scrapbooks for almost 5 years. I recognized Wendy Smedley from her picture. She even invited me to come down and meet some of the staff. I didn't act quite as giddy as I was inside, because I didn't want to seem like a psycho-path scrapbooker who is playing "Where's Waldo" with scrapbooking industry women, but I am soooo excited. So there it is. I am a groupie, and for those of you who don't understand, thank you for listening anyway

Snow Canyon (really sand canyon)

Last weekend we took a family vacation to St. George. I was beautiful weather and quite enjoyably exhausting for all. The kids had tons of fun playing on the sand dunes at Snow Canyon, but my husband wouldn't let me take my camera because of all the wind and sand. It was probably our last trip as a family of 4. We also watched the planes take off at the airport several times. It reminded me of pre-9/11 when we could get remotely close to an airport. The other really fun thing was meeting Jason's brother's baby, Tori, for the first time. Eli and Tori became fast friends because Eli would let her fake punch him in the face and she'd giggle and giggle. (She's 6 months old, but even so I made Eli stop because his face got so red.) Anyway, good times, good times.

Is Restaurant Mommy similar to Malibu Barbie?

Wyatt woke up this morning and said we needed to play restaurant and he wanted pancakes and eggs. After I made it for him, he said "Thank you, Restaurant Mommy." I really think that isn't my whole job description. I'm also Laundry Mommy, DIshes Mommy, Park Mommy, and best of all Beautiful Mommy. (Wyatt tells me that to get what he wants I think.) Anyway, now you also know our favorite kind of egg is over medium with ketchup. :)

My own roller coaster

I'm trying hard to feel the love of having a baby right now. I'm totally uncomfortable and sometimes frightened for what I know I'm in for again, but I think I'm feeling like I can wait til the end for a little while more. I can remind myself to enjoy the movements and the fact I don't hear crying. But I long to sleep on my stomach, and to stop moving like a whale. Yesterday I had tons of energy, today I couldn't vacuum if my life depended on it. ( Well maybe if my life depended on it.)
The other thing I've been pondering today is why someone else's bad mood can make me feel so bad too. Does everyone feel this way?
On the up-side, we are going to St. George this weekend. Ahhhh... 60 degrees sounds heavenly. Oh, and I'm starting to read the Diary of Anne Frank. I never read it as required reading, so here's to the beginning of a long list of classics I need to catch-up on.

Hardware Ranch

Today we took a sleigh ride pulled by two clydesdales at Hardware Ranch to see the elk. The ride was long, but it was a beautiful day and the kids had fun. I don't think I can do car rides anymore. Talk about contractions. Eli and Wyatt took the opportunity to fight in the back seat most of the time. "He's looking out my window" and "He started it!" and "Sit down and be quiet" where the most uttered phrases in our car. But, man, its nice to see signs of spring. We always start discussing all the things we want to do this summer when spring comes. We should be busy.

Lookin at the past

So this is what I did at Christmas, it took long enough to get the picture up! Now I'm trying to hurry and make the boys big-boy bed quilts and get another crib quilt done before the baby comes. Today I officially have 10 weeks left, but I'm most certainly hoping it will only be about 8. Sun is out, boys (including my husband) are outside playing (or fixing things), whatever you want to call it. Tonight Jason and I are going to the symphony. Pray I don't fall asleep.

Sunday game of Sorry

The sun has been out for the last several days, and we have been focusing on more family time. The boys still have uncontrollable energy, and I'm thinking of buying a treadmill and strapping them to it. We did go on a walk the other day, but as soon as the sun goes down it gets super cold. I think we are all hoping for spring too soon.

I don't know about this

I don't have anything really to say, but I know I need to write something for my own sanity.
Sometimes things seem harder than they probably are. Not every day was meant to be happy. I guess if we didn't have sad days, we wouldn't appreciate the really good ones.
I am tired of being a responsible-ish adult. I feel like I'm not really good at it, that no one cares, and that I'm failing. Its hard trying to do all the right things in your head, not knowing that you're making mistakes, and then realizing you were wrong, having to apologize, not knowing still how you could have corrected the situation at the time. My feelings get even more hurt when I had full intention of doing the right thing to begin with. Now, I realize I'm not perfect, that some of this is just part of learning, but now more than ever, I just want to run from all the situations I feel I'm not ready to deal with, and then I think, GROW UP, its just not that big of a deal.
I'll probably spend the rest of the day, about my chores, mulling over everything some more. Hopefully by the end, I'll gather up my courage and just go on.

my prophet

I feel happy for him that he is with his wife after such an amazing life and example.
I took this picture at the parade this summer. (Thank goodness for a long lens.) Its truly amazing how close (proximity) our lives come at times. How blessed I am to have felt his presence. He has always made it feel like there is hope to do better, even in the darkest of times. What an amazing life to look at and realize how far we can go.
P.S. If anyone wants this picture, I would be willing to send it to you.

Christmas pics

Eli got a raptor for Christmas, which he now considers one of the children in the family.
Wyatt, in this cute black & white, is being a shepherd that is "sore afraid." Pretty good, I'd say.

Stubborn

Today, like most days he has school, Wyatt did NOT want to go. I told him if he was that whiny about it,he was probably tired and he should go to sleep. He never actually sleeps in his own bed for long, but today he perched himself up at the top bunk where a pregnant Mommy definitely cannot get him. He lay there stubbornly for 45 min. until he fell asleep. Wow. I guess he really didn't want to go to school.
These mind games children play. They attack you at your weak spots and try to outwit you by saying how much they'll miss their mommy. Ahhh... I will think of something. I will win.

I haven't forgotten

My pictures have not been able to attach for weeks, hence no blogging. I've also been reading "Eclipse" and "New Moon" and haven't been paying much attention to my own life.
Christmas was wonderful-- I love having kids to enjoy it all with. I'll try to download some pics of that, but I didn't take many-- I was enjoying being in the moment this year and trying not to stress. It worked.
Anyway, I'll try to get to writing more soon.