half way there

Christmas is coming and I feel like the goose that's getting fat. But I'm half way there! Its nice to have so much to do to stay busy. Jason has been working a lot, I've been getting the presents wrapped and mostly eating all the candy the neighbors have dropped off by myself. I need to stop. I even hear the "back away from the food" voice in my head and am getting really good at ignoring it. What is it about the baby excuse that derails me? Anyway, I'm excited to see my children's excitement next week. They have been looking around the house for where the presents are hidden. Ha Ha. Who said being the adult isn't fun sometimes?

What we've been up to

I have been feverishly trying to sew a lot of presents this season. I wish I could post pictures of all the cute stuff, but as some of the receivers may read this, I will wait until after Christmas. The annual hand-made card will be going out this week too. Totally cute. I need to start wrapping the presents, but I'm still worried the kids may try to open them, even though they are not for them.
This weekend, my husband helped the kids make an awesome snow fort. They think its cool, but now its icy so they slip a lot. Next they want to make a dinosaur snowman. Looks like Jason won't be getting much done this winter.

Snow: worth it in the end

I don't like cold weather. Truly, if I could afford it, and didn't care if my house burned down, and liked earth quakes, and all my family moved with me, I would move to the California coast. But my boys breathe the outdoors and are sooo excited about the snow. Every time it melts Eli cries.
I like snow for Christmas and then I just wish it would go away. But I really like water-- to drink, to play in, to keep things around here semi-green. Jason and I were talking about how we just haven't had that much snow these past, maybe 10 years. Not like it was when we were kids and we got snow days and built snow caves and never saw the grass from October to Easter. Anyway, hope this season brings lots of water, good playing, and we only have safe driving conditions. Is this possible?

The Waiting is the Hardest Part

Last week we found out we would be adding another boy to the mix. 3 boys.... as we say in my house, "you are a brave little piglet." Anyway, for those of you that thought I would cry, I can't tell you how totally okay I am. I just can't believe there is another little boy up in heaven, witnessing the chaos of this house, that STILL wants to be part of this family. ( Maybe the girls aren't brave enough.) I saw fingers and toes and a "cute" little profile. ( I say "cute" because who can really tell in an ultrasound?) But judging from our others, he's probably cute. Eli wants to name him Deigo, Wyatt wants to name him Chihuahua. Lets just say his parents have different ideas.

Notice the horse

This morning as we looked across the street we started to get worried our neighbors might have a mob problem, that is if Eli is involved. He left his horse all night on their front porch as a reminder to Bari (the cute 11 year old girl across the street) that he is available to play. All of us chuckled to see it. I haven't discussed the issue with our neighbors yet. I'm pretty sure they know who any random toys on their front porch would come from, but just in case they are scared, I might mention it when they come home from work.

Last week the boys and I went outside and started on all the raking we should do very soon. Of course the boys ended with wrestling, I went in and made dinner. We are getting excited for the holidays. The weather has been so warm. Kind-of weird. Blame global warming, I guess.

growing up

Jason has of lately been obsessed with his new mustache. The funny thing is, he has to use my mascara before anyone can even see he has hair there. We tease that he may be growing up after all.
I find it humorous that after 7 years of marriage he might be growing up really... and getting a little wiser too. There was an incident Jason was in yesterday where my emotions would have taken control and it probably wouldn't have been good for anyone. He handled it well. He thought through the whole scenario before acting, and although I know he could have won, it wasn't the time. I appreciate him for taking care of our little family, for being the rock when I need him to be, and sometimes not listening to my emotional reactions.
I have always known there were lots of things I need him to do better than I could, and its nice to have him in the world slaying our dragons. Thanks, hon.

Update

My computer has been a little freakish lately so we are trying to back everything up to reload and I haven't posted for awhile. Halloween was okay, Wyatt was sick so we didn't get many pictures of him. We have all been kind-of sick, just getting by, but hopefully we are on the mend. I saw the doctor last Friday, everything seems good with the new baby. We are waiting to do all the major tests until next year so we will be applying everything to the new deductible. So I won't know boy or girl until January. Like it will change. Other than that, we are cleaning out and voting, taking kids to school etc. today. Hope its good.

Okay, so I can't believe its been 13 years since that picture was taken. I was a sophomore in high school. Its one of the only pics I like from high school. I've been scanning old photos lately. I keep having nightmares there is fire in my house, and instead of saving my kids, I tell Jason to go get them and I run for all my pictures and scrapbooks. Maybe I've been watching too much news about California.
Both boys costumes are done, I need to work on mine now, and get Wyatt feeling better. I've also been taking silly old wives tests online to see if it can predict whether I'm pregnant with a boy or a girl. Obviously I need to get back to the things I need to do. Is anyone else thinking about starting (or has) their Christmas shopping?

Party at my house

Yesterday I worked on Wyatt's Halloween costume all afternoon because he was supposed to have a party at school today. What would the most logical thing for his body to do? Get a fever, and lose his voice. No party, just oat bran for breakfast.
I have made the kids 3 recipes from that Deliciously Deceptive cookbook. So far so good. Butternut squash and sweet potatoes are getting into my kids somehow.

Thinking food, as always

The picture is from a jaunt to the U Natural History Museum with some of our friends back in Aug, but I thought it was now sesonally appropriate.

So I did go to the store this week and buy food that the baby in my stomach forced me to pick out. It included Chex Mix (no longer as fattening because they deleted the nuts.), brats, microwave meals (no preservatives), white bread, cream cheese, ice cream, tapioca pudding, Cheerios... anyway, a lot of carbs and fats. The amount of packaged goods was so out of the ordinary, that I went to Costco today and bought all veggies. I saw this book on Oprah a few weeks ago by Jessica Seinfeld (Jerry's wife) where you try to hide vegetables in food kids like so they don't know they are eating them. I plan on pureeing a lot of carrots, spinach, sweet potatoes and cauliflower this weekend. I am a deer widow anyway, I might as well. The book is called Deceptively Delicious, and I'll let you know how it works. The nice thing is, once the baby starts eating, it will all be purees anyway so I'll be on a roll hopefully.

to be or not to be

Safe, that is. Eli has been trying to wear Jason's motorcycle helmet everywhere. (We do not own a motorcycle anymore.) He really enjoys people trying to hit his head when its on. The problem is, it's so big for him he can't even walk straight. I just imagine it hurting his neck. So like a good mom, next time I find it off him, I will be hiding it.
Last night was an exciting one in our neighborhood. I guess there was a stabbing between a husband and wife across 10th east from us, and we had sirens, then 2 lifeflight helicopters land a 100 yards away. Jason and I couldn't sleep and ended up watching with some of the neighbors at the corner. When I came back, Martha Stewart was on at 2 am, so, how much fun is that?
So, I'm am setting out today, to buy something to eat for dinner. The goals are: no complaints from the kids, leftovers, and probably not as healthy as usual. I might be in the mood for lasagna.

"I'm in my imagination"

I'm glad he is "in his imagination" because, as for me, I cannot find mine. At this point I can barely remember when life was fun. I've been in the house, trying to just survive for the past week. I thought I was starting to feel better, but this general depressing feeling has decended on our home, and unlike most times, the only idea I have for getting out of it is to just hold on. I realize things change, get better, I just know I'll miss all the fun of fall by the time I come out of it.
Okay enough of this depressing stuff. Maybe I'll go watch Scooby-doo with Wyatt. He seems good.
P.S. Eli is having so much fun with Legos lately. I'm happy to see it. Ahh... creativity.

The kids have been sick today, so since I didn't have to drive around I've tried to clean the house. I am so inept at cleaning/ decluttering. I don't understand how to have stuff that gets put in the right place and how to stop buying/ recieving things I don't want or need. Our whole family needs some sanity and structure. Why am I scared to get rid of things? I just might need it someday. Hum. I need help. I could turn into one of those ladies you see on tv. Yuck. Its like when they show you what you'll look like in 20 years and I won't be able to blame the kids.
Yesterday I went to spin class, which felt good at the time, but its taking my muscles way too long to recover.
Last night Jason and I took the kids for a walk, well they were on their tricycles. I think it tired them out, which is probably why they are sick today. They've been sleeping a lot. I suggested a walk because I thought Jason and I could talk and decompress, but those bigwheels are so loud going over pavement, and we were so worried about crossing every street that came up, it turned out to not relax me at all.
The general local and national news is really getting me down, so I won't be watching it until my emtions are a little more in control.
Gotta go check on dinner. Meatloaf and mashed potatoes. Yum.

baby appointment

So I didn't sleep well at all last night because I was so worried about seeing a new doctor today. I made the appointment early which also never helps me sleep. We also know that our insurance won't be covering this kid, so I was worried about the money. We get to the office and find out the doctor doesn't take my insurance at all. Maybe it was the pregnancy, but I don't like feeling like I don't have the right password or whatever to be treated, and I started to cry. Nice. I get embarrassed when I can't control this. Anyway, we decided to just pay out of pocket to at least see if the baby was okay (and that I wasn't having twins, phew). The doctor knew the situation and didn't have us pay anything. I couldn't believe it. I don't know what I think about health care in this country, I want it to change, but I don't want the government to intervene so the quaility of health care goes down. My general doctor usually delivers my babies, but she had a baby last week so I've got a few months to be on my own. I made next appointment at the same clinic, so I know I'm covered there. All of this also makes me upset that my husbands company can't just buy us good insurance. It would go a long way to job satisfaction if you felt your family was taken care of.

new cut, new outlook

I don't know what it is about getting my haircut, but it sure makes me feel better. This is even saying my morning sickness can be helped with a little psychological " I look cute" talk. This picture is taken with my iMac on board camera. Fun to not have to set everything up, but not the best picture in the world.
I'm getting excited about Halloween costumes. We have decided to be the Avatar characters ( http://www.nick.com/shows/avatar/index.jhtml ). Eli will be Aang, I will be Katara, Wyatt will be Sokka. Eli, of course, thinks he can help me sew it all. Love how if your little and you try something you think you can do it all.
Today the list of mom things to do is the same as every day. I really get sick of the kitchen. I'm actually just very good at the making of messes, and find no joy in cleaning them up. The weather this weekend is supposed to be horrible again, so I might just call in sick to chores and take the kids to the canyon or the park. After I convince Wyatt once again that school is fun.

finding balance again

Last week at this time we had just arrived home (thank goodness safely! ) from a last trip before I get all pregnant and have a baby. We took my in-laws to Disneyland and spent some time at the beach. Yesterday we had our first snow in the valley, even though it didn't stick, and looking at the pictures from last week is keeping me warm. The smell of the first fire in our house makes me happy, but in the back of my mind I know how long winter will last. Its only fun through the holidays, then it just gets depressing. I will try to get some yoga and walking in this week and breath in all the good air.
I also just finished making some sewing stuff for a lady in my neighboorhood as a thank you gift. I will be taking pictures and posting. I hope you all have a good Sunday. With all I usually need to do, Sundays are not that relaxing. Here's praying for peace in my house. :)

Can't believe I'm here

So maybe my first post should be all-out earth shattering, but really I just need somewhere to put all those thoughts running through my head. Who really knows what journey I'm taking here, but maybe the reasons one starts things can morf into something bigger.
Currently I am in my almost 9th week of pregnancy with my third (and probably last) child. I don't feel good. I just keep thinking I only have 4 weeks left of this feeling. It will be worth it. (Hear that positive self talk?) My husband seems to have sympathy pains, because he is just as unmotiviated as I am to do anything.
My 2 boys, ages 5 and 3, are in preschool so I get some one-on-one time with each every other day. This saves me from an all out breakdown. They are totally cute when they aren't biting or punching each other.
Wednesday Eli created his first sewing project. He begged me to buy him a flat quarter of some Halloween spiderweb fabric. I really didn't know if there would be any follow-through there, but I set him up originally with a needle and some thread. His stiches were straight, but very far between, so when I felt a little better I stood behind him on the sewing machine. Let me just say I'm so proud. He's not even a little out of control. He presses the foot so steadily its like he's done it forever. ( I used to teach sewing lessons to ages 5-12 and believe me when I say control is key.)
Well, I've got to get lunch and a kid off to school. TTFN